Death of the Metrosexual
What happened to the Metrosexual?
I spy a man with a respectable black wool coat, black pants and gray oxfords. Harmless enough, however, his pants are stylishly rolled up to his ankles, his collar flipped; so what's the deal? Another man sitting near me, wearing close fitting navy blue pants and brown oxfords: the new shoe uniform? Maybe. Is this a transcendent style for the hipster geek, as well as the uber stylish urban man and woman? I just don't know.
Before the skinny jeans, and the Uggs, there was a time when you could tell the difference between a heterosexual man and a gay man. You knew that because this man was clean cut, clean shaven and well dressed it didn't mean that he was homosexual. Neatness didn't/doesn't make you gay, but now I sit on the A train (certainly not a group of people known for their style) and I just can't tell. Don't get me wrong I am not looking, nor am I judging - but out of pure curiosity where do you stand?
Today we also see the urban youth wearing skinny jeans hanging down below their asses. What does that mean? What are we, the women, supposed to think? Where do we stand with you? More importantly, where do you stand? If we date, will you let me borrow your pants? Will you try to borrow mine? I don't know how I feel about that!
Single-hood is tough enough as it is to have to constantly wonder if the guy you like is gay or not. Where is the happy middle, the happy medium? With all this being said I eulogize the Metrosexual.
Death of the Metrosexual: Eulogy
You were once hard to understand years ago. We took for granted; your quest for all things nice and stylish. We mistook you for a sissy, your love of salmon colored shirts as a cry of homosexuality when in reality it just looks good on you especially with a tan. And even though I am no longer on the market, no longer looking I want to say we miss you, we miss the real you the you that was more than an Express shirt, the you that went an extra mile to impress the women while still retaining your masculinity. We miss you and hope you are reincarnated sometime soon.
PS: If you are indeed reincarnated please come back with man-brows. When I see you with stick thin eyebrows, over plucked, over threaded and waxed you look nuts. Wear your eyebrows neat but not overly done. You're a man and have no need for a defined arch. So leave the top alone and clean up the bottom and you're good.
Okay, I am done but I am serious about the brow thing.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
In disregard of the staff: organizational change, employee benefits and appraisals.
In disregard of the staff: organizational change, employee benefits and appraisals.
All companies, even the small ones, when deciding to make a new hire, define the job. They put a little bit of time into it, they figure what the requirements will be, the KSAs (knowledge, skills and abilities) and take into consideration the financial benefits, the non financial benefits, etc. They put thought into the process because if not, you get what you pay for. An organization may get lucky and hit the HR lottery with a great hire or you end up with well paid, sub par employees who don't care; who are a direct reflection of the company itself. Not good.
In a small disorganization where there are no secrets (yeah, not one) the process becomes even more important. You cannot disregard the feelings of the current employees, their tasks, their years on the job, experience, education and not to mention their current salary if for the sake of the new hire. The new hire is entering enemy territory, a hostile environment, who may or may not last regardless of the salary - and you will still be stuck with the disgruntled bunch you originally started with. Not good, and could have been avoided with a bit of communication.
It is not to say that a new hire does not deserve as many benefits as possible; and not to say that employees are created equal, but when the organization has no employee appraisal methods in place and raises are granted after the grunts and groans of the staff, they are doled out equally regardless of merit, accomplishments, or achievements it cheapens the entire process. Further, it instills in the employee that they are deserving of more money regardless of their errors, attitudes, and mishaps. It is a win-lose, lose-win situation, because at the end of the day, the company lost, the employee won, and no one learned a thing.
With some sort of employee appraisal method the company can better gauge the employee's work and their contributions to the firm (will be on the fast track from being a disorganization to a real organization) and they also position themselves to make better decisions about salary, comp time off, and other benefits that would also improve the quality life of the worker. Happy worker, better treated customers and clients, more productivity, more money made - just win, win, win. All of this winning with a tiny bit of communication and a bit more organization. However, going this route means that everyone is accountable for their actions and the company will have to place someone in charge of the employees/ This person will be an intermediary between management and the workers who can listen to both sides and mediate disputes and grievances. If there were an appraisal method and a clearly defined job description with defined tasks and duties maybe both employee and management wouldn't be as disgruntled and mediators wouldn't be needed with such frequency. It makes sense, doesn't it?
But, who is the person in charge of all this organization? A firm has many options; one being hiring a new employee with their job defined as HR administrator, hiring a consulting HR firm or redefining current roles (i.e. that of your current office manager perhaps?). Regardless of the path taken, a mature firm should have roles defined and catalogued (much like the merchandise but with no need for inventory) so when there are changes, turnover, etc filling the position does not become this arduous task - and no one looks like chickens with heads cut off running around in all directions except the one they should be (I laugh at the mental picture - memories of summer on the farm in DR).
In the end, you cannot disregard the loyal employees you do have good or bad. If changes need to be made - and no one is saying that change is easy - communicate and ensure them that while it will be a hard transition, that the changes are for the better; that the changes will improve their work lives and that of their personal lives, and so many other facets of their life. Employees want to be better (at least that what the modern studies show), they want to work and better the organization, but you have to give them the chance and you have to empower them. Give them the opportunity to "wow" you and you will see that they are more open to change and progress than they were given credit for.
...But like defining the job, the change must be thoroughly thought out and realized before it can be put into action if not you remain with a massive failure and disgruntled employees. Not good.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
~Cher
All companies, even the small ones, when deciding to make a new hire, define the job. They put a little bit of time into it, they figure what the requirements will be, the KSAs (knowledge, skills and abilities) and take into consideration the financial benefits, the non financial benefits, etc. They put thought into the process because if not, you get what you pay for. An organization may get lucky and hit the HR lottery with a great hire or you end up with well paid, sub par employees who don't care; who are a direct reflection of the company itself. Not good.
In a small disorganization where there are no secrets (yeah, not one) the process becomes even more important. You cannot disregard the feelings of the current employees, their tasks, their years on the job, experience, education and not to mention their current salary if for the sake of the new hire. The new hire is entering enemy territory, a hostile environment, who may or may not last regardless of the salary - and you will still be stuck with the disgruntled bunch you originally started with. Not good, and could have been avoided with a bit of communication.
It is not to say that a new hire does not deserve as many benefits as possible; and not to say that employees are created equal, but when the organization has no employee appraisal methods in place and raises are granted after the grunts and groans of the staff, they are doled out equally regardless of merit, accomplishments, or achievements it cheapens the entire process. Further, it instills in the employee that they are deserving of more money regardless of their errors, attitudes, and mishaps. It is a win-lose, lose-win situation, because at the end of the day, the company lost, the employee won, and no one learned a thing.
With some sort of employee appraisal method the company can better gauge the employee's work and their contributions to the firm (will be on the fast track from being a disorganization to a real organization) and they also position themselves to make better decisions about salary, comp time off, and other benefits that would also improve the quality life of the worker. Happy worker, better treated customers and clients, more productivity, more money made - just win, win, win. All of this winning with a tiny bit of communication and a bit more organization. However, going this route means that everyone is accountable for their actions and the company will have to place someone in charge of the employees/ This person will be an intermediary between management and the workers who can listen to both sides and mediate disputes and grievances. If there were an appraisal method and a clearly defined job description with defined tasks and duties maybe both employee and management wouldn't be as disgruntled and mediators wouldn't be needed with such frequency. It makes sense, doesn't it?
But, who is the person in charge of all this organization? A firm has many options; one being hiring a new employee with their job defined as HR administrator, hiring a consulting HR firm or redefining current roles (i.e. that of your current office manager perhaps?). Regardless of the path taken, a mature firm should have roles defined and catalogued (much like the merchandise but with no need for inventory) so when there are changes, turnover, etc filling the position does not become this arduous task - and no one looks like chickens with heads cut off running around in all directions except the one they should be (I laugh at the mental picture - memories of summer on the farm in DR).
In the end, you cannot disregard the loyal employees you do have good or bad. If changes need to be made - and no one is saying that change is easy - communicate and ensure them that while it will be a hard transition, that the changes are for the better; that the changes will improve their work lives and that of their personal lives, and so many other facets of their life. Employees want to be better (at least that what the modern studies show), they want to work and better the organization, but you have to give them the chance and you have to empower them. Give them the opportunity to "wow" you and you will see that they are more open to change and progress than they were given credit for.
...But like defining the job, the change must be thoroughly thought out and realized before it can be put into action if not you remain with a massive failure and disgruntled employees. Not good.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
~Cher
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Gone But Not Forgotten
Gone But Not Forgotten
Hello friends, the few but dedicated to my words.
I have been absent a while, not by choice but due to life (i.e. homework, relationship, parties, Aidan and life in general). For those of you that remember the college years: the first 2 are a breeze the last one not so much. I am struggling a bit. My mind is not as agile as it once was many years ago. But then, I ain't no spring chicken!
In the mean time I have kept notes on my thoughts. You know that fodder for this blogger remains to be the injustices of the workplace and the little things here and there that I notice and deem worth mentioning. Some are truly little, some are little when compared to the universe!
As for the failed project of the book of awakening: I am still reading it but not everyday. Life is just too hectic at this point. I hope that when school is complete (in November) I will be able to dedicate more time to my first professional love: writing. Well, we shall see. For now, I have some time off before my next class begins and I will hold back from purchasing a book on my iPad (although I do miss reading for pleasure).
...On second thought, maybe I can do both. I am so over text books!
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Hello friends, the few but dedicated to my words.
I have been absent a while, not by choice but due to life (i.e. homework, relationship, parties, Aidan and life in general). For those of you that remember the college years: the first 2 are a breeze the last one not so much. I am struggling a bit. My mind is not as agile as it once was many years ago. But then, I ain't no spring chicken!
In the mean time I have kept notes on my thoughts. You know that fodder for this blogger remains to be the injustices of the workplace and the little things here and there that I notice and deem worth mentioning. Some are truly little, some are little when compared to the universe!
As for the failed project of the book of awakening: I am still reading it but not everyday. Life is just too hectic at this point. I hope that when school is complete (in November) I will be able to dedicate more time to my first professional love: writing. Well, we shall see. For now, I have some time off before my next class begins and I will hold back from purchasing a book on my iPad (although I do miss reading for pleasure).
...On second thought, maybe I can do both. I am so over text books!
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Because I am So In Love: To CAC & AMC
Because I am So In Love: To CAC & AMC
Not because it is Valentine's Day but just because, I want to exclaim that I am so in love with my life, my family and everything that comprises it. I have a great support system at home.
...And every night when we pray, we ask God to help mommy find a new job (although his reason is just so I can pick him up after school). Whatever the reason, my entire family is behind me cheering me on. I am so blessed.
For them I express my words of love. Words of the utmost devotion to them for all that I am, all that I do is in pursuit of more happiness, of more love (if that is even possible).
But I continue to strive for more love, more happiness, more of God's divine help and balance. We know that our love, happiness and riches are due to Him and His constant guard over us.
With all my love,
~CBC
Not because it is Valentine's Day but just because, I want to exclaim that I am so in love with my life, my family and everything that comprises it. I have a great support system at home.
...And every night when we pray, we ask God to help mommy find a new job (although his reason is just so I can pick him up after school). Whatever the reason, my entire family is behind me cheering me on. I am so blessed.
For them I express my words of love. Words of the utmost devotion to them for all that I am, all that I do is in pursuit of more happiness, of more love (if that is even possible).
But I continue to strive for more love, more happiness, more of God's divine help and balance. We know that our love, happiness and riches are due to Him and His constant guard over us.
With all my love,
~CBC
Under The Bus
Under The Bus
Everyone knows about the [external] customer. Not too long ago I learned about the internal customer and though I always knew that many parts of my job depends on other parts completed by others I never thought of myself and them as being customers as well. Ideally you want to treat all customers; internal and external, with the utmost respect because for whatever reason you depend on them.
At a small company things get a bit more complicated. It's all about working together. Because It's so small, there is no where to run, no one to run to and when there is trouble brewing - it is really bubbling over, spilling and making a huge mess all over the place. At the small company there must be solidarity. Together we stand, the regular worker bees against the rest of them. When the silent pact is broken, a big part of the working dynamic dies. Do I see you fooling around online? Yes, I do but who am I to judge and/or govern you? Should we be more productive? Of course but there is only so much you can do when there is nothing to do.
We come to the point: do not throw other employees under the bus when you are not the model of perfection by any means. Some of us have different vices, some farm on Farmville, some socialize on social networks, some do homework and some play computer solitaire. What is the difference?
While we all hold different positions we all still need each other. I need the front office and sometimes they need me too in the back. In the end we all need each other, for different reasons, but need is need.
Lets all try to get along. Lets try to work together and towards the same goal. We are in it together unless you are related to the family or marry into it - but who wants that?
"Stop, think about."
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Everyone knows about the [external] customer. Not too long ago I learned about the internal customer and though I always knew that many parts of my job depends on other parts completed by others I never thought of myself and them as being customers as well. Ideally you want to treat all customers; internal and external, with the utmost respect because for whatever reason you depend on them.
At a small company things get a bit more complicated. It's all about working together. Because It's so small, there is no where to run, no one to run to and when there is trouble brewing - it is really bubbling over, spilling and making a huge mess all over the place. At the small company there must be solidarity. Together we stand, the regular worker bees against the rest of them. When the silent pact is broken, a big part of the working dynamic dies. Do I see you fooling around online? Yes, I do but who am I to judge and/or govern you? Should we be more productive? Of course but there is only so much you can do when there is nothing to do.
We come to the point: do not throw other employees under the bus when you are not the model of perfection by any means. Some of us have different vices, some farm on Farmville, some socialize on social networks, some do homework and some play computer solitaire. What is the difference?
While we all hold different positions we all still need each other. I need the front office and sometimes they need me too in the back. In the end we all need each other, for different reasons, but need is need.
Lets all try to get along. Lets try to work together and towards the same goal. We are in it together unless you are related to the family or marry into it - but who wants that?
"Stop, think about."
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Stupidity of Love: Real Life Love Stories
The Stupidity of Love: Real Life Love Stories
Disclaimer: I am a woman. I am loved. I love. I don't however, allow love to make decisions for me (anymore). Yes, I have made foolish choices in my life, but who hasn't? I learned from a book I read long ago (the Road Less Traveled, perhaps?) that loving a person is a choice, it is a decision that is made and that there is no such thing as falling "in love." I believed it then and I still do now. Being "in love" blinds you and practically leaves you to die in the street. Really loving someone is knowing that sometimes you will have to sacrifice even your love for the person for the best path. Of course I am idealistic, always have been and hopefully always will be.
What Love Does
Loves encourages smart people to make foolish decisions. Love disguises bad decisions with a bow and make them look pretty and nice instead of what they really are... Toxic decisions that literally haunt you for the rest of your life or for the better part of 7 years a reminder on your credit score; because Love certainly doesn't pay the bills but it can certainly put you in some major debt financially, emotionally, physically and all other [ally]s. Love doesn't think about your name, love doesn't think about your identity.
These are a few stories of people who have gone blind with love. When it was good, it really prospered, it was great. But when it went bad, it was a black hole that sucked you into a vortex of resentment and near hate for all those interested.
Love Story 1
Real love was something that is hard to experience for a scientific mind, I think. But when this scientific and very compartmenalized mind fell in love, she put her entire self into this love, the way it is supposed to be. Out of love, this very logical and scientific woman put up HER house as collateral to help her love start another business. Many other things transpired in between, including a ring, a promise, a partnership (both in business and in love), and a beautiful baby girl. But love has no management skills, and love can't run a business, love cant save a bad business and love ultimately defaulted on loans on the business. Love was absolutely corrupt and love went bankrupt (emotionally and financially). Love even threatened to sink her deeper into debt to force loss of a home with the daughter in it. Love needed to die right then and there Puerto Rican style (thanks Louie, the ultimate Puerto Rican, for teaching me that phrase, it just fits most every circumstance).
Love Story 2
Love met and chilled out. Love had a ton in common, and love got her pregnant. Love already had a family of his own. Love proclaimed that he loved her, he then proclaimed he wanted nothing to do with the child. Love eventually went back to his other babies' momma and love don't provide financially for the Love baby. Miss in-Love now has to eat a lot of dirt, deal with the hurtful comments made by the family to make sure she can work, provide for her child, have her child cared for, clothed and fed. Maybe Love should have put better ingredients into the pot, maybe the pot should have been covered properly. But whatever the reason the pot remained open, from it a lovely child came to be. But a pot filled with air does not feed a child. A pot filled with nothing does not clothe a child. Love did all this.
Love Story 3
Love saw her from across the room. Love was a damsel in distress. Love saved her and love fell madly, and love rushed in, and came [inside] but love did not last forever. Love did good for a great while, love married, bought a condo, a couple of cars, then a bigger house and another baby but love didn't make a home. Love fought. Love gave up. Love isn't supposed to do that. Love is shacked up with the next chick taking vacations to Puerto Rico thinking life is grand. Love is absolutely lucky he didn't end up with me. Love and his chick need to die Puerto Rican style probably while on vacation there (wow, you see how that fits?).
The Truth
Love is supposed to stick around regardless of the circumstances. Love is supposed to make better decisions. Love is supposed to love you no matter what; for the good and the bad. I know that real love actually does care about you, your credit score and all that you have done for it. Real love wants the best for you at all times even when things fall apart. Real love acknowledges that you are great but however great love alone could not hold it together because love may be a lot of things, but crazy glue it ain't.
Other Things Love is Not Supposed to do
Take care of yourself first, take care of your love second because no one can love you if you don't love you.
Much Love,
Cher
Disclaimer: I am a woman. I am loved. I love. I don't however, allow love to make decisions for me (anymore). Yes, I have made foolish choices in my life, but who hasn't? I learned from a book I read long ago (the Road Less Traveled, perhaps?) that loving a person is a choice, it is a decision that is made and that there is no such thing as falling "in love." I believed it then and I still do now. Being "in love" blinds you and practically leaves you to die in the street. Really loving someone is knowing that sometimes you will have to sacrifice even your love for the person for the best path. Of course I am idealistic, always have been and hopefully always will be.
What Love Does
Loves encourages smart people to make foolish decisions. Love disguises bad decisions with a bow and make them look pretty and nice instead of what they really are... Toxic decisions that literally haunt you for the rest of your life or for the better part of 7 years a reminder on your credit score; because Love certainly doesn't pay the bills but it can certainly put you in some major debt financially, emotionally, physically and all other [ally]s. Love doesn't think about your name, love doesn't think about your identity.
These are a few stories of people who have gone blind with love. When it was good, it really prospered, it was great. But when it went bad, it was a black hole that sucked you into a vortex of resentment and near hate for all those interested.
Love Story 1
Real love was something that is hard to experience for a scientific mind, I think. But when this scientific and very compartmenalized mind fell in love, she put her entire self into this love, the way it is supposed to be. Out of love, this very logical and scientific woman put up HER house as collateral to help her love start another business. Many other things transpired in between, including a ring, a promise, a partnership (both in business and in love), and a beautiful baby girl. But love has no management skills, and love can't run a business, love cant save a bad business and love ultimately defaulted on loans on the business. Love was absolutely corrupt and love went bankrupt (emotionally and financially). Love even threatened to sink her deeper into debt to force loss of a home with the daughter in it. Love needed to die right then and there Puerto Rican style (thanks Louie, the ultimate Puerto Rican, for teaching me that phrase, it just fits most every circumstance).
Love Story 2
Love met and chilled out. Love had a ton in common, and love got her pregnant. Love already had a family of his own. Love proclaimed that he loved her, he then proclaimed he wanted nothing to do with the child. Love eventually went back to his other babies' momma and love don't provide financially for the Love baby. Miss in-Love now has to eat a lot of dirt, deal with the hurtful comments made by the family to make sure she can work, provide for her child, have her child cared for, clothed and fed. Maybe Love should have put better ingredients into the pot, maybe the pot should have been covered properly. But whatever the reason the pot remained open, from it a lovely child came to be. But a pot filled with air does not feed a child. A pot filled with nothing does not clothe a child. Love did all this.
Love Story 3
Love saw her from across the room. Love was a damsel in distress. Love saved her and love fell madly, and love rushed in, and came [inside] but love did not last forever. Love did good for a great while, love married, bought a condo, a couple of cars, then a bigger house and another baby but love didn't make a home. Love fought. Love gave up. Love isn't supposed to do that. Love is shacked up with the next chick taking vacations to Puerto Rico thinking life is grand. Love is absolutely lucky he didn't end up with me. Love and his chick need to die Puerto Rican style probably while on vacation there (wow, you see how that fits?).
The Truth
Love is supposed to stick around regardless of the circumstances. Love is supposed to make better decisions. Love is supposed to love you no matter what; for the good and the bad. I know that real love actually does care about you, your credit score and all that you have done for it. Real love wants the best for you at all times even when things fall apart. Real love acknowledges that you are great but however great love alone could not hold it together because love may be a lot of things, but crazy glue it ain't.
Other Things Love is Not Supposed to do
- Seek emotional support from another (especially of the opposite sex)
- Cheat while one is pregnant
- Not care
- Leave
- Abandon
- Divide (this should be a #1, because evil posing as Love divides a family of relatives and friends and that is not what is supposed to do)
- Make decisions concerning the relationship on their own
- Not talk to the other
- Pretend to love
- Stay for pity (you want to, then BOUNCE)
- Stay for the children (it will never work out that way and children are not reason enough to stay. You just end up with emotionally retarded kids)
- Leave AND take all assets and money with you out of spite
- Run credit to the ground
- Take off-the-books jobs to not pay child support (really dispicable sh*t)
Take care of yourself first, take care of your love second because no one can love you if you don't love you.
Much Love,
Cher
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Equal Employment Opportunity: Is It Really Equal?
Equal Employment Opportunity: Is It Really Equal?
Is equal employment opportunity really equal? My thoughts are that they aren't for real.
As a management student one of the very tasks I have been given is research on job postings. If my goal is to be a manager of sorts, at some point in my career I will have to come up with a job description. With some research, more than a few HRM classes under my belt, my own personal curiosity in the state of the job market (ha, ha) and the fact that I just love to read everything; I have seen some crazy job posts.
First I want to point out a paradox, entry level means that the person applying need not have experience. When the title of the post says "Entry Level..." then within the job description the hiring manager states "1-2 yrs experience necessary" you negate the title. Not equal. How can an entry level position require experience? What was that phrase again? Oh, not equal.
When you post a job opening for a receptionist but require applicants to have Ivy League backgrounds with 3.5+ GPAs and then disclaim that you are an EEO organization you are lying. Not Equal.
Why would anyone require a degree to pick up the phone? However the ability to state something to the effect of "pleasant appearance" is better suited for the job. The receptionist is the voice of the company and they are also the face of the organization so ideally you would want someone who is good looking with a nice voice. The need for a BS to say "hello" is totally crazy. I say it again, not equal.
I understand that in order to discourage absolutely unqualified people from applying certain key words/phrases are added: degree required, 3-5 years experience; but an Ivy League education? Really?
My husband has tried and true sales and management experience. He is not the school type (although he is considering it) but he has real money making methods to run your business as his own. Great stuff, and I know that unless I have a masters in management (as I plan anyway) it is the only way that I can really compete with him since my experience and expertise lies with administrative duties.
However, I have over 10 years experience as an account manager and inventory specialist. I practice best methods, I am constantly improving my own processes and I am absolutely genius! Okay not really genius, genius but my ability to see a problem, give it thought and come up with a solution has value; real value. How can an EEO organization see that? I am still researching, but I am going to try a few changes and see where it gets me and really test this EEO thing.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Is equal employment opportunity really equal? My thoughts are that they aren't for real.
As a management student one of the very tasks I have been given is research on job postings. If my goal is to be a manager of sorts, at some point in my career I will have to come up with a job description. With some research, more than a few HRM classes under my belt, my own personal curiosity in the state of the job market (ha, ha) and the fact that I just love to read everything; I have seen some crazy job posts.
First I want to point out a paradox, entry level means that the person applying need not have experience. When the title of the post says "Entry Level..." then within the job description the hiring manager states "1-2 yrs experience necessary" you negate the title. Not equal. How can an entry level position require experience? What was that phrase again? Oh, not equal.
When you post a job opening for a receptionist but require applicants to have Ivy League backgrounds with 3.5+ GPAs and then disclaim that you are an EEO organization you are lying. Not Equal.
Why would anyone require a degree to pick up the phone? However the ability to state something to the effect of "pleasant appearance" is better suited for the job. The receptionist is the voice of the company and they are also the face of the organization so ideally you would want someone who is good looking with a nice voice. The need for a BS to say "hello" is totally crazy. I say it again, not equal.
I understand that in order to discourage absolutely unqualified people from applying certain key words/phrases are added: degree required, 3-5 years experience; but an Ivy League education? Really?
My husband has tried and true sales and management experience. He is not the school type (although he is considering it) but he has real money making methods to run your business as his own. Great stuff, and I know that unless I have a masters in management (as I plan anyway) it is the only way that I can really compete with him since my experience and expertise lies with administrative duties.
However, I have over 10 years experience as an account manager and inventory specialist. I practice best methods, I am constantly improving my own processes and I am absolutely genius! Okay not really genius, genius but my ability to see a problem, give it thought and come up with a solution has value; real value. How can an EEO organization see that? I am still researching, but I am going to try a few changes and see where it gets me and really test this EEO thing.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
I just can't do it everyday
I just can't do it everyday
I can read everyday but I can't blog everyday. I tried it and for a while I was doing it but to actually meditate on what is said each day requires more than I can give between my house, and the train station; eating breakfast and putting on makeup.
With this being said, I now have more time to blog about the things truly important to me: management.
I am cooking something up...
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Book of Awakening. Days 16, 17 & 18
The Book of Awakening. Day 16
January 16, 2011
I Say Yes When I Mean No
January 16, 2011
I Say Yes When I Mean No
For this I am not guilty of. I am guilty of probably the opposite saying no when I mean yes. I learned a very long time ago not to over extend myself or agree to do things that I don't care to do. I don't feel bad I don't feel guilt but the only person who hurts in the end is me so I just don't do things I don't want to do. Why make life more painful?
January 17
The Friction of Being Visible
The same as saying yes when one would really rather say no - doing things simply out of love even when you don't want to is like being invisible.
I am not invisible.
January 18, 2011
The Spider and the Sage
We are helpful. And while at times we may get hurt when helping we still look forward to helping a person we love or helping humanity.
Even if we get stung every time we help we continue to do it out of love.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Book of Awakening. Days 14 & 15
The Book of Awakening. Day 14
January 14, 2011
The Life of Experience
January 14, 2011
The Life of Experience
Even the deepest pain will pass. That is good enough for me.
Day 15
How Does it Taste?
A handful of salt is always only a handful of salt. However a handful of salt in a glass of water is yucky, but the same handful in a lake tastes fresh.
The suffering is same; salt in a glass salt in a lake is the same amount is the same but the vessel is different. We need to stop being glasses and start being lakes.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Book of Awakening. Day 13
The Book of Awakening. Day 13
January 13, 2011
Why We Need Each Other
January 13, 2011
Why We Need Each Other
The book quoted a haiku about a blind boy marveling at the cherry blossoms with his mother pointing out the trees; both appreciating them equally but in different ways. To me, this points out that we are all blind in our own ways.
In my life I can be and have been blind to many things. I have gotten caught up with myself, our son and our home that I became blind to the things that made our home: our love. We no longer saw things the same way, we no longer saw each other same. Thankfully and gratefully we see things with a similar set of eyes but it has been a struggle... A therapy or a rehab of sorts training us to see again, to be again.
It should never be that the possible loss of the other is what makes you see, that brings you back from the dark, but like many others before us and for more to come, that is what it took.
If I ever do become blind again my hope is that my love will be the one who will point out the cherry blossoms.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Book of Awakening. Day 12
The Book of Awakening. Day 12
January 12, 2011
Seeing into Darkness
January 12, 2011
Seeing into Darkness
Fear of the dark need not be confronted in one day. Entering into a dark is not simple for fear does hold us back. But it is okay to stand by the threshold until you are comfortable there and it is okay to remain still until our eyes get accustomed to the dark. We do things when we are strong enough. Sometimes strength takes time.
I am working on time.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
The Book of Awakening. Day 11
The Book of Awakening. Day 11
January 11, 2011
Ted Shawn
January 11, 2011
Ted Shawn
Ted Shawn was studying divinity when he was struck with polio (Nepo, M. 2000). While suffering with the full use of his legs, Ted heard a voice that he should dance (Nepo). Ted dropped out if divinity school and enrolled in dance (Nepo). Through dance he regained the full use of his legs and became closer to God because dance is theology expressed in movement (Nepo).
I love to dance. I bop up and down on the train in the mornings, I usually always have a song in my head and I know that is my second mind rejoicing in song.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Book of Awakening. Day 10
The Book of Awakening. Day 10
January 10, 2011
Akiba
January 10, 2011
Akiba
Nepo (2000) excerpted from the Talmud: upon his deathbed Akiba cried to his rabbi upset because he had not lived a life like Moses. The rabbi responded in saying that Akiba's sin was not that he fell short of Moses's life but not being Akiba and living the life he was given
We spend a lot of time as humans trying to be like those we are not... We aspire to be people we are not hence working against God basically telling him that His work to make us was not good enough. What a slap in the face!
I cannot say that I aspire to be someone I am not but then I have not fully looked at myself yet. However, I wear my hair how it was made, curly. I don't chemically straighten it although I do work at making it more manageable. I waited, listened and heeded the path I was supposed to take and not my mother's path or the path she wished I would take. I chose this life because God put it in my heart, in my mind and finally laid it out for me.
I am not Moses. I am not Akiba. I am me and through this, trying to be the best me possible.
I thank you for your support and guidance.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
The Book of Awakening. Day 9
The Book of Awakening. Day 9
January 9, 2011
Life in the Tank
January 9, 2011
Life in the Tank
Life in the tank. Area we in a tank? Is our life our own captivity?
This is way too deep for just one day. I don't have it in me right now.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
The Book of Awakening. Day 8
The Book of Awakening. Day 8
January 8, 2011
Feeding Your Heart
January 8, 2011
Feeding Your Heart
The blind, never having seen their face instinctively know where their mouth is. However bad the night may seem, the day always brings light.
If one takes time to really think and consider, the heart always knows the answer to everything. We always know the answer is. It is usual, however, that the answer is hard to deal with.
There are times that I hate knowing the answer, but then there it is. I know that right now, I have to clean house (house of finance, house of education, house of home, house of self) and for every home, there are problems and there are answers some tough, some easy, but all solvable.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Book of Awakening. Day 7
The Book of Awakening. Day 7
January 7, 2011
We Must Take Turns
January 7, 2011
We Must Take Turns
A relationship is give and take. While one is working on themselves inwardly the other must work on external aspects - the things that allow the other to work on themselves without having to worry about the garbage, the dishes, the children, etc.
"We must take turns: diving into all there is and counting the time." (Nepo, M. 2000).
Today, I have realized that in reality going on to receive my EMBA is a little bit selfish since this is now my 4th year in school and I am still working on myself and plan to add an additional year with a master's in business administration. The thing is, that I really think that God is not finished with me yet and has not started in Chris. Maybe I am not paying attention and God has started talking to Chris but he remains patient and silent about his path. I am not sure which it is.
I am not finished and as an individual I need this higher learning degree and possibly even a black belt (Six Sigma) for me to really be happy with me and professional growth. I don't know. What I do know is that I did have a real awakening today and I have to talk to Chris and meditate on giving more to him and allowing him to spiritually take more and allowing his walk to continue...
The more I think of it, I don't particularly care for this awakening stuff!
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
Day 6: January 6, 2011
The Spoked Wheel
The very things we think differentiate us are the things that really bring us together. We may seek different things, or so we think we are.
We spend a part of our life fighting against the current to be different only to realize when maturity sets in that we are very much alike. We teeter totter the rim of the wheel in search of ourselves, get to the center of the wheel when we learn the truth. The truth that whatever we reach for may be distinct but the force that makes us reach is the same (Nepo, M. 2000).
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Not by Spite
Not by Spite
For as long as I can remember I have always done things my own way. When I was younger (careful not to write little for I am only about 4'11") I never cared to be dressed in pink because I was a girl my color of choice then was red. Throughout adolescence I continued in the same spirit. I often heard that I was disobedient or that I was rebellious. Couldn't it be that I simply had a strong spirit; a strong personality? Could it have been that like any human being I just wanted my life to go my way?
By 23 I lived on my own, paid the rent on my own and continued to do things my own way. I never allowed the "after-party" to be at my house, I regularly kicked out my friends when I wanted to go to sleep at a decent hour, and didn't care about having crazy parties - so I didn't. Someone live with me? I don't think so. I loved my time of solitude and peace, my home, my way.
I met Chris, tried the whole living with a boy thing (not for the faint of heart, mind and those with sensitive gag reflexes). Luckily, it worked out and I have not looked back once.
Then I got some weird news - I had cysts that were altering my body: I gained a ton of weight, was borderline diabetic and had no chance of conceiving if I went untreated for too long. PCOS. Tough pill to swallow at 25 as were the horse pills (no offense to my horse readers, but they were big) I was to take indefinitely. Through it all Chris was by my side. I gave him a choice - I was on baby mode and was going to have a baby no matter what - and his choice was to be the one who went down trying or I would figure out how to get what I wanted without him. Simple. I would have a baby, not by spite, but because it was put on my path.
I was 26 when I announced my decision to the family. As a courtesy I told them that me and my live-in boyfriend were trying to conceive. At 26 I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. No, I was not married, and had no interest in being married at the time not out of spite but because it was not what I wanted. I mean come on, I practically forced the dude to have the baby I couldn't turn around and be like "marry me" now too. Not by spite, but I wasn't ready to give up my name and take on all the responsibility of marriage. Marriage somehow changed things especially if done for the wrong reasons. Our relationship has always been based on the best aspects of us we have struggled to keep it that way.
By 27, a few months shy of my 28th birthday I had my precious baby boy who was born in 20 minutes, almost 3 weeks early, and "talking" to us about his journey and his path.
I always get my way.
I knew he is destined for great things so I had to bring it. I had to get myself in school and do whatever possible to move forward and progress. I enrolled in school without first discussing it with Chris, my partner. Not by spite, solely for me and only for me.
Today I am about done with my degree and I will continue on with an EMBA despite any naysayers, despite the additional year of study, despite the inevitable struggle I will have juggling family, personal life and my work life with homework and classes.
So here's the point: I do things in MY life that are best for me. Some things I do for reasons that most will not understand now, but that God put in my heart, in my mind and on my path. Not everything will be according to societal norms, but rather to the norms of my life. So far, only greatness has entered and I would like to continue on my path with God and my non-traditional family. Will I get married. Sure. It is in the bag! Will I have a big wedding to satisfy the family - I sincerely doubt it. Maybe we will just elope. What do you think? That's romantic too and it is in line with how we have lived our life together...
Let's see. Not by spite... but it is in deed, My Life.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
Day 5, January 5, 2011
Show Your Hair
What a great message to someone like me... "show your hair" when today I am "hiding" my hair or at least my curls with straight hair. In my defense it is winter and I don't have the heart or the sinus capacity to go out into the world with wet hair. Nevertheless, this is my hair, just dried straight, no chemicals other than the oils I put in it to sustain it... wow, my hair is dry!
I have spent a good portion of my adult life protesting against the idea of "good hair", hair length (cut it, it grows back). And while I know that this is not about hair, but the message behind it, it simply fits. Hair is an important aspect of many people's identity and if they spend most of their life hiding it from the world under wigs, relaxers, perms, weaves, extensions, jerry curl juice, etc... then how is the world to belive that we are who we say we are? If you are killing yourself to be something other than who you are, how God made you (or Buddha, Hari Kirshna, whomever) then what difference does it make if someone external from your life asks you to change?
The point of today's words... I am (and you are too) enough for the world and I do not have to hide parts of me for acceptance. I do not have to hide any part of me at all - not even my full head of crazy curls.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
Day 4, January 4, 2011
Between Peace & Joy
The place between peace and joy is what is felt when a hardened sponge opens up in the ocean after being dry for so long and from it, creatures soundly asleep inside also open up and swim forth and is set free. The heart begs to open up like the sponge, for life to be breathed into it.
I find it hard to open my heart when the majority of my day is passed with people I care nothing for, but then that may be the point. The day's meditation calls for my heart to open up while doing the dishes and watching it unfold. I don't do dishes on a daily basis but I wash my hands frequently and I can imagine my heart closed. Where do I stand?
My issue is opening my heart during the day. Should I open my heart when I am home; at work? What are the consequences of an open heart is enemy territory? I am pretty sure that if my mom were here she would tell me something to the effect that self-doubt are negative powers at work around me.
In addition to the meditation of opening my heart, I will also pray about about my doubts.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, January 3, 2011
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
Day 3, January 3, 2011
Unlearning Back to God
There was once a time that we did not know of shame, we didn't know about embarrassment and were open to the world. Apparently this is when we are closest to God, this was the "Center of Our Love." (Nepo, M. 2000).
The walk back to God, I guess, is a path to unlearning regret, shame and all else that blocks us from truth. Real truth is not having the inhibitions of fear.
I must breathe away myself beneath my issues. I will try. I really will. The point of all of this is to be present to the life I have in order to make my life better, closer to what I want it to be, the dreams an expectations I have for my self and my own personal success. I will meditate on this to truly understand.
However it is hard to breathe when I have difficulty breathing. I will make it my point to visit the doctor soon, get a physical and take care of the vehicle God has given me to walk this life especially my pesky sinuses.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
The New Year: 365 Days of Awakening
Day 2: January 2, 2011
All Fall Down
There are thresholds that we have trouble crossing. At home, life is great but professionally I have yet to really decide what I want to do or how to get there. Right now, I am working (seemingly with no success) to position myself at an organization that can serve as a launch pad to something better. I am at the door, but I know that I am carrying too many parcels to open the door. I always say to people "give it up to God" but as I meditate about my own journey and the door that I must open, I have realized that maybe I have been working too hard to open the door on my own carrying too many things.
Today I will rethink my path and heed the omens of the universe and see how I can reposition myself to open the door and cross the threshold. It will be difficult for me to relinquish control but at this point I know that I must. I know that by doing so all will come to pass and I know that I cannot resist the fear and all the change that comes with this new decision.
I can't help but think of Kirk Franklin "we fall down, but we get up..." I think I will jam to God's Property right now.
I sign out. ~Cher
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
The New Year: 365 days of Awakening
The New Year: 365 Days of Awakening
Introduction
My mother is a spiritual soul. She teaches Bible study at work, she often writes papers on different spiritual matters but despite her theological studies she is still very human and still has faults.
People always judge the errors of the spiritual harshly. They even judge the errors of their children in the same way. For whatever reason we (the spiritual or those related to them) should know better or have all the answers of life. My mom doesn't have all the answers and my sister and I certainly don't either nor do we pretend that we do. Maybe that disappointment is part of a bigger problem, however it is not our problem to solve.
For Christmas among all the things my mother bought for people she purchased for herself, my sister, her sister and for me a book; The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo (2000). She said to me that she didn't know if it would be well received or even read by the others but that she was sure I would read it. It may be one of those Dominican mother traps, but despite that, I know that God is not finished with me yet and that I can use all the help the world sets on my path.
I want more in my life for that reason I recently stopped praying for the things I do not have and started praying for the things that I do have: love, family, gainful employment and the wherewithal to know that I cannot do it all on my own. Thanks mom, I feel change already.
Day 1: January 1, 2011
Precious Human Birth
There are things that we as humans can do that the other species that share the Earth (you might as well call it planet dirt - quote from Transformers 2) with us cannot and vice versa. "Of all the things that exist, we breathe and wake and turn it into song." (Nepo, M. 2000)
As I look outside onto the streets of the south shore I peer at the trees that are so strong, who look seemingly naked in the cold but need nothing of us to thrive. As humans, we too are strong and sometimes we are found naked but even in the cold we survive. We may not be able to grow as tall as the trees, but like the tree we persevere even in the cold, in the storms and we make it to see another day, another season and another year.
(PS: during my meditation and blogging, I found the lettuce that I knew we bought but did not make it into the fridge - it was on top of the car! It tickled me pink. Hilarious!)
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)