Immigration & Racial Profiling

Disclaimer: I started this post at the peak of my anger. I couldn't go on upset, I couldn't write upset, I didn't want to. Today, extremely fatigued I complete this work because I want to move forward and put this entry behind me. I have to say what is on my mind or it will fester. This is my outlet, thank you for reading.

I was born in the Bronx of Dominican parents. My sister and I were the FIRST generation born in the US in our (mother's) family. We take pride in the fact that we have acquired, for the most part, the "American Dream" that my grandmother painstakingly sought: the house, the children, better employment and most importantly, shoes on our feet (in my case many, many shoes). If we go back far enough, we'd find the Mexican who went to DR and made us the only Dominican Trejo family (yes, from Puerto Plata), or the Brazilian who contributed to my [very] curly hair and the last name Ferreira (pronounced feh-rai-rra in Spanish or in Portuguese feh-jay-ra, just not Ferrara). The point being that, I am offended by the law in Arizona as a brown person.


Friends who Wish me Harm?

My friend posted something to the effect that the new law in Arizona allowing people of Latin (Mexican) origin to be questioned and asked for ID is a wake up call for Latinos because as a Black man, and all other blacks they have been racially profiled for a long time. Other people chimed in agreeing that it was a wake up call for Latinos and the rest of the US. But how do they, as black Americans, know what we as Latinos go through on a daily basis? What you meant was that basically inequality is bad when it is only happening to you, you don't mind when it happens to someone else? How backwards is that? As Latinos - "somos una raza encendida, Negra, Blanca Y Taina" (Juan Luis Guerra) - we are mixed, but no one has ever mistaken us for white.

I once looked up Dominican in the dictionary and it said "Mullato" as in black and white. Mexicans in general are probably more "Metizo" because they are more Indio and white European - but in the end, we are not white. Or did you forget? One thing I have not forgotten, "Americans" love what we as Latinos do for them. American's love that we are not afraid of hard work and most of all YARD WORK, we are not afraid of dangerous conditions, construction jobs and venturing out to neighborhoods where we are not only the minority but we risk our lives living there (Suffolk County and many areas of Nassau County). We are not afraid of responsibility. Okay a lot of us do not speak English well, so the f**k what! When the explorer's "discovered" the Americas, the "Americans" DID NOT SPEAK ENGLISH either!

So the dumb-a** phrase "we are in America, speak English" really doesn't apply. It means nothing. Are the politicians from the US so self-involved that they think America is just theirs? The term "American" means nothing in any other part of the world because in other parts of the world, Mexicans are Americans, Brazilians are Americans, Costa Ricans are Americans, Colombians, Guatemantecos, and Canadians are Americans so you must declare the country you are from. In Spanish I am estadounidense, but it is a sad moment.

The United States prides itself in equality, being a melting pot, solidarity and all that other BS but only when it is convenient. You know what the difference between the Latino man being racially profiled and the black man? The Latino moves on! As Latinos, we endure just as much crap from the rest of world as the black man does; but you know what, we move on! We do not live with a huge chip on our shoulder that the world is against us. Whether it is or it isn't, hechamos pa' lante. I suggest you do the same: get a grip and get over it.

In preparation for this very personal rant, I came across this little poem. The New Colossus has a VERY FAMOUS excerpt...

The New Colossus , Emma Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"





If it all means nothing, then it means nothing, but don't expect me to sit idly by and say nothing because I will not. I will not sacrifice the sacrifice my grandmother made many decades ago in the hopes that she will be able to provide for her family. I will not have my grandmother think that her sacrifice was in vain.

I have calmed down.

We, the Latino community never wished anyone harm, we just want to make some money to send to our family that couldn't be here with us. To us, the dream has nothing to do with being American, the dream is providing for a better life here, there or anywhere in between. My goal is not to offend, but to give another point of view.

Be Well & God Bless us all

~Charisse

Corporate culture: respecting the dress code

Corporate culture: respecting the dress code.

Corporate culture: it is the very essence of the organization. Ellen Wallach (organizational development consultant, speaker, writer and filmmaker) said "Organization culture is like pornography; it is hard to define, but you know it when you see it." I like David Javitch's (Employee Management) definition of corporate culture: "Culture is the sum total of everything that has been and continues to be on going in an organization." Great stuff there!

Many firms take this concept of culture very seriously and make a strong effort to assure that their culture is one of respect, that it is positive and that the employees take pride in their job from the CEO to the janitor because everyone plays a role and everyone represents the company equally. Part of an organization's culture is the dress code. What is acceptable in how the employees dress and where do you draw the line?

Personally, I am starting to believe that business casual blurred the lines of acceptable and unacceptable items of clothing for work. The company heads and the leaders form of dress set the tone of subordinates dress code. You are a leader because you have "dressed" the part, anything less from the staff is absolutely unacceptable. All organizations big and small should have a dress code set, items that are entirely inappropriate to wear to work regardless of what you may be doing or going after work. Respect the job, respect the office and furthermore, respect your fellow employees.

These are the items that I find inappropriate (please feel free to add, agree or disagree)

• short skirts and dresses


• low cut tops


• sneakers with everything including trousers

These are the things that I find crazy that employers find acceptable

• No jeans during the week, but sneakers everyday is okay


• Midriffs or ill-fitting shirts


• Wrinkled attire


• Evening make-up during the day


• Visible tattoos


• Cornrows!

Cornrows need to go AWAY! Most of my friends and I are over it, why isn't the rest of the world? I hadn't realized how present they are in the world until my friend, Eric Facebook'd about it recently. I chimed in because I agreed, but then I saw what he saw - I took a ride (on the subway) to the Bronx and was exposed to a Bronx I hadn't experienced in so long.

Yes, I am originally from the Bronx, but I haven't lived there since 2004 and when I visit the family, I don't linger on the streets, I go home; but there were cornrows everywhere! It wasn't as if I only saw it outside, oh no, no, no, no, no, no it was inside a hospital with a divisions, campuses, a board, etc (another blog entirely or maybe even a series about this hospital). Basically, the hiring manager saw this tattooed, long haired man with braids and said "this is the person we want to represent us." Makes no sense. No, I am not against tattooes, I am however against to seeing it certain settings where the people around are totally vulnerable, but I digress...

Do I wear sneakers to work now, oh h*ll yes; but why not? Everyone else does. So what are you going to do? A whole bunch of nothing.

~Charisse

Equation for Healing

Healing = H

Relationshop = R

Time = t



H = (R x t) x (0.50) Relationship times time times half

H = (4.5yrs) x (0.50) Drop the relationship, because it has dropped you

H = 2.3yrs Time it takes to heal





Okay so it is not a real math equation, but it once you really think about it, it is pretty accurate.



Stop, think about it.



Charisse

Healing

Healing.

Healing is not simple. Healing from a breakup or from a friend or love lost is not an easy task. What do you do now? You find yourself alone, lonely and wanting companionship again. But why are you so upset? There are many people who look forward to breaking up, getting out of a relationship "en desamor" (indifference) only to later be overwrought with pain, sadness and
anger. You wanted to leave, you wanted out - so why are you upset? Did you not fully think through the consequences? Were you duped?

Regardless of what happened, now is your time to heal.

My Story of Healing

After over 4 yrs in a relationship with a man, I found myself alone and living alone for the first time. In the 4.5 yrs together I never had to think about weekend plans or holidays (although we really did not spend those together) and while it wasn't the most honest relationship (let's
leave it at that folks) it still hurt to be left.

Being the uber organized person that I am, I scheduled my grief (organization and also having read the important parts of the Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, MD). I moved into my new apartment with the help of my uncle, unpacked, cleaned and went on my sad way,
busy getting unpacked and settling in. I was slow but I was single and was not in a hurry. I figured that I really couldn't bawl during the week because I worked and never liked too many people knowing my business so Friday nights it would be. I only had a stereo (a gift from my
other uncle) and a ton of music collected (Marco Antonio Solis, Jose Jose, Jose Luis Perales among others) just for that purpose. Heartbreak and sadness. I knew from watching my parents divorce and all that my mom used to talk to us about relationships that I was not ready to give my heart once again. Because I was in pain, my heart was no good to the world. If I learned anything from reading El Alchimista (The Alchemist, Coelho)and By the River Piedra I Sat and Wept (same), I learned that if I really wanted something (to heal) that God would make the world turn to make it so. Imagine that!? The entire world conspiring to give me what I want?!

The Process for me

God gave me my time to weep, to be angry, and melancholic then He granted me a new great friend (SD & co), renewed other friendships (LC & co) and opened my heart to new ideas, new experiences, a new me. He prepared me and my heart to find love again not on my time, but on His time; when He knew that I would be ready to receive love and give love without the hurt of past loves because this man that He brought me deserved better than that. The process took 2 yrs and 3 months exactly half the time of the relationship.

The Point

Do I mean that it takes years to heal? Sometimes no, but you have to mourn your loss and wait for the right signs to try to take on love again. God will send you signs/people for the healing process but it does not mean that they were put on your path forever; their reason may be temporary. It is up to you to pay attention to the world, heed it's advice, listen and let go of your rebelliousness. Heal first and then love will come once again.

Charisse.

Sincerely,
~Cher

Sent from my iPhone

Purging bad management & friendships. Ha!

Okay I punked. The jig was up... In retrospect if there is freedom of speech and we are supposed to be "friends" then as a friend you should know how I truthfully feel about the state of your labor management (that's putting it tactfully) and your so called friendship. Don't try to figure me out... here it is.

What type of an organization that has no set rules in place, makes exceptions to their own set rules as it goes along and can never make a decision? It is a firm that despite it's many years is still in it's infancy (Michael Gerber, cannot solve this one!). No organization like that can expect employee loyalty at the job or in a public forum. Don't ask, it's true, as Martin (Lawrence) said: "stop, think about it."

I once read that just because you are good at your job, that is does not mean that you will be good at running a business. Michael Gerber (The E-Myth) called this an "entreprenuerial seizure." It's true. You figure you can do [this] because as a technician, you are great, but being managed and managing is different. In my opinion, you cannot effectively manage and be real friends at the same time. It doesn't work boo-boo. Your delegation is defined as laziness to the regular employee. Stop, think about it. Are there exceptions to the rule? Yes. But not all people can separate their anger at work from the friendship you hold.

You and I are "friends," but not really. Yes, I can see you on a social networking site, but that is it. We are not tight like that. You are not one of the people that I seek when I am down, when I need perspective, a laugh (unless I am laughing at the many silly things you do or recounting it to my real friends). I believe that if you look for sh*t you will find it. Don't dig into my friends, what I have said before, who I have a relationship with or my personal business and feelings at all because you have no right. Please do not question me. I don't want to hurt you and it isn't even about you, it's about your donkiness (another word for donkey is?) and the onus you say I have to take that you do not. Ha!

Work and life are totally separate to me. How I am at work and how I am out of work are different. At work, I will not respond "your momma" or "tell your momma..." as I probably would in real life. One thing does remain constant... I do not start trouble, but I will finish trouble. Do not provoke me, because at any given moment I have choice words for you my friend: from the way you are, to the way you manage your staff (and no, an education in management had nothing to do with it, your flow was wack from jump my friend... from jump).

The point is, that we do not have anything in common other than that we work at the same place. We are not in the same tax bracket, my struggles are not the same as yours, and we do not share time away from the office. When you plan your fetes, I am not on the guest list... it's cool, I don't roll how you roll and I am convinced that I would be bored anyway (who can deny that a Dominican house party is a blast?). To me a successful party is no one leaving on a stretcher, to you a success is something else. Ha, Ha.

I go back to financial management where life is more predictable and as it should be. It's all about the cash flow people!! Ah.., purging is good. Ha.

Spring time.

Spring time, the vernal equinox, gives us renewed hope and faith that life will be okay. The flowers and trees will once again bud and awaken us with the smell of freshly cut grass, the sway of the cherry blossoms and the sweet smell of magnolia in the air.

For me, spring represents another year; a reminder that life while it may seem long in the present, looking back, the distance is somehow shorter. Many occassions long past seem like yesterday: being my mom's little girl, moving out on my own, meeting my partner, the birth of our son, purchasing our home and many other milestones are fresh in my mind. The winter was bumpy, and cold and there were some dreary nights. But...

Spring allows me to dream again, to feel the warm wind all over me like the embrace of a loved one. In the spring, even the rain feels nice: warm and sticky another opportunity to show off my ruffle umbrella. In the spring everything seems alive and fresh.

Happy Spring everyone, hapy spring.