Death of the Metrosexual

Death of the Metrosexual

What happened to the Metrosexual?

I spy a man with a respectable black wool coat, black pants and gray oxfords. Harmless enough, however, his pants are stylishly rolled up to his ankles, his collar flipped; so what's the deal? Another man sitting near me, wearing close fitting navy blue pants and brown oxfords: the new shoe uniform? Maybe. Is this a transcendent style for the hipster geek, as well as the uber stylish urban man and woman? I just don't know.

Before the skinny jeans, and the Uggs, there was a time when you could tell the difference between a heterosexual man and a gay man. You knew that because this man was clean cut, clean shaven and well dressed it didn't mean that he was homosexual. Neatness didn't/doesn't make you gay, but now I sit on the A train (certainly not a group of people known for their style) and I just can't tell. Don't get me wrong I am not looking, nor am I judging - but out of pure curiosity where do you stand?

Today we also see the urban youth wearing skinny jeans hanging down below their asses. What does that mean? What are we, the women, supposed to think? Where do we stand with you? More importantly, where do you stand? If we date, will you let me borrow your pants? Will you try to borrow mine? I don't know how I feel about that!

Single-hood is tough enough as it is to have to constantly wonder if the guy you like is gay or not. Where is the happy middle, the happy medium? With all this being said I eulogize the Metrosexual.

Death of the Metrosexual: Eulogy

You were once hard to understand years ago. We took for granted; your quest for all things nice and stylish. We mistook you for a sissy, your love of salmon colored shirts as a cry of homosexuality when in reality it just looks good on you especially with a tan. And even though I am no longer on the market, no longer looking I want to say we miss you, we miss the real you the you that was more than an Express shirt, the you that went an extra mile to impress the women while still retaining your masculinity. We miss you and hope you are reincarnated sometime soon.

PS: If you are indeed reincarnated please come back with man-brows. When I see you with stick thin eyebrows, over plucked, over threaded and waxed you look nuts. Wear your eyebrows neat but not overly done. You're a man and have no need for a defined arch. So leave the top alone and clean up the bottom and you're good.

Okay, I am done but I am serious about the brow thing.

Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone