Healing

Healing.

Healing is not simple. Healing from a breakup or from a friend or love lost is not an easy task. What do you do now? You find yourself alone, lonely and wanting companionship again. But why are you so upset? There are many people who look forward to breaking up, getting out of a relationship "en desamor" (indifference) only to later be overwrought with pain, sadness and
anger. You wanted to leave, you wanted out - so why are you upset? Did you not fully think through the consequences? Were you duped?

Regardless of what happened, now is your time to heal.

My Story of Healing

After over 4 yrs in a relationship with a man, I found myself alone and living alone for the first time. In the 4.5 yrs together I never had to think about weekend plans or holidays (although we really did not spend those together) and while it wasn't the most honest relationship (let's
leave it at that folks) it still hurt to be left.

Being the uber organized person that I am, I scheduled my grief (organization and also having read the important parts of the Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, MD). I moved into my new apartment with the help of my uncle, unpacked, cleaned and went on my sad way,
busy getting unpacked and settling in. I was slow but I was single and was not in a hurry. I figured that I really couldn't bawl during the week because I worked and never liked too many people knowing my business so Friday nights it would be. I only had a stereo (a gift from my
other uncle) and a ton of music collected (Marco Antonio Solis, Jose Jose, Jose Luis Perales among others) just for that purpose. Heartbreak and sadness. I knew from watching my parents divorce and all that my mom used to talk to us about relationships that I was not ready to give my heart once again. Because I was in pain, my heart was no good to the world. If I learned anything from reading El Alchimista (The Alchemist, Coelho)and By the River Piedra I Sat and Wept (same), I learned that if I really wanted something (to heal) that God would make the world turn to make it so. Imagine that!? The entire world conspiring to give me what I want?!

The Process for me

God gave me my time to weep, to be angry, and melancholic then He granted me a new great friend (SD & co), renewed other friendships (LC & co) and opened my heart to new ideas, new experiences, a new me. He prepared me and my heart to find love again not on my time, but on His time; when He knew that I would be ready to receive love and give love without the hurt of past loves because this man that He brought me deserved better than that. The process took 2 yrs and 3 months exactly half the time of the relationship.

The Point

Do I mean that it takes years to heal? Sometimes no, but you have to mourn your loss and wait for the right signs to try to take on love again. God will send you signs/people for the healing process but it does not mean that they were put on your path forever; their reason may be temporary. It is up to you to pay attention to the world, heed it's advice, listen and let go of your rebelliousness. Heal first and then love will come once again.

Charisse.

Sincerely,
~Cher

Sent from my iPhone