For as long as I can remember I have always done things my own way. When I was younger (careful not to write little for I am only about 4'11") I never cared to be dressed in pink because I was a girl my color of choice then was red. Throughout adolescence I continued in the same spirit. I often heard that I was disobedient or that I was rebellious. Couldn't it be that I simply had a strong spirit; a strong personality? Could it have been that like any human being I just wanted my life to go my way?
By 23 I lived on my own, paid the rent on my own and continued to do things my own way. I never allowed the "after-party" to be at my house, I regularly kicked out my friends when I wanted to go to sleep at a decent hour, and didn't care about having crazy parties - so I didn't. Someone live with me? I don't think so. I loved my time of solitude and peace, my home, my way.
I met Chris, tried the whole living with a boy thing (not for the faint of heart, mind and those with sensitive gag reflexes). Luckily, it worked out and I have not looked back once.
Then I got some weird news - I had cysts that were altering my body: I gained a ton of weight, was borderline diabetic and had no chance of conceiving if I went untreated for too long. PCOS. Tough pill to swallow at 25 as were the horse pills (no offense to my horse readers, but they were big) I was to take indefinitely. Through it all Chris was by my side. I gave him a choice - I was on baby mode and was going to have a baby no matter what - and his choice was to be the one who went down trying or I would figure out how to get what I wanted without him. Simple. I would have a baby, not by spite, but because it was put on my path.
I was 26 when I announced my decision to the family. As a courtesy I told them that me and my live-in boyfriend were trying to conceive. At 26 I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. No, I was not married, and had no interest in being married at the time not out of spite but because it was not what I wanted. I mean come on, I practically forced the dude to have the baby I couldn't turn around and be like "marry me" now too. Not by spite, but I wasn't ready to give up my name and take on all the responsibility of marriage. Marriage somehow changed things especially if done for the wrong reasons. Our relationship has always been based on the best aspects of us we have struggled to keep it that way.
By 27, a few months shy of my 28th birthday I had my precious baby boy who was born in 20 minutes, almost 3 weeks early, and "talking" to us about his journey and his path.
I always get my way.
I knew he is destined for great things so I had to bring it. I had to get myself in school and do whatever possible to move forward and progress. I enrolled in school without first discussing it with Chris, my partner. Not by spite, solely for me and only for me.
Today I am about done with my degree and I will continue on with an EMBA despite any naysayers, despite the additional year of study, despite the inevitable struggle I will have juggling family, personal life and my work life with homework and classes.
So here's the point: I do things in MY life that are best for me. Some things I do for reasons that most will not understand now, but that God put in my heart, in my mind and on my path. Not everything will be according to societal norms, but rather to the norms of my life. So far, only greatness has entered and I would like to continue on my path with God and my non-traditional family. Will I get married. Sure. It is in the bag! Will I have a big wedding to satisfy the family - I sincerely doubt it. Maybe we will just elope. What do you think? That's romantic too and it is in line with how we have lived our life together...
Let's see. Not by spite... but it is in deed, My Life.
Sincerely,
~Cher
Sent from my iPhone
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